I don't really want to go into details about this as its too depressing. Suffice it to say, it involves M, and to top it all off he forgot what day it is today (ed- no he did not!!!! See later post chookers!!!) ... now ordinarily I don't really bother about these sorts of things ... its a day ... like whatever .... but if I say I don't care ... at what point DO I stop caring?? If I'm sooo scared of letting go emotionally beacuse I'm such a cockhead of a control freak ... then am I really experiencing all I possibly can in a relationship? I'm so tempted to say "Who Cares" at this point .. which is exactly THE point. Oh friends, life is hard enough without all the additional and cumbersome emotional baggage ... why can't we all just get along *makes pageant pout face*.
On a lighter note ... maybe a heavier note for some people looking at this pic:
I have a friend called M2 who has a body pretty much exactly like the one in the pic above ... perhaps a tad slimmer, but abs for days nonetheless ... was chatting to him online last night as he lives half the world away from me ... lets just say we both share similar tastes in partners ... as he is younger than me ... he still sees this common predilection of ours as a fetish ... I just see it as being non-judgemental coloured with a tinge of magnaminity .... As I get older ... these things are meant to matter less ... the age gap should shorten as it were .... but somehow the gap seems to be widening in some unexpected ways .... most significantly in our energy levels .... and also in how we've compromised on priorities ... M2 just wants to be used and abused so he's well and truly being satisfied in that respect ... and what do I want??? I guess I want protection ... thats the bottom line ... Between you and me .. I think M2 has a thing for me ... but that in itself is sooo depressing because I'm no longer the twink-chasee ... I'm now the twink-chaser (well in reverse ... anyway you get the drift)!!! I must admit I have given M2 a cheerful eyeful before (do not ask me to elaborate!!) and believe me you would look twice if M2 walked past you on the street ... but hey ... there's no chemistry ... there was none back then, and now I'm taken ...
And finally, I must give shout outs and props to PT (I know he at least reads this) for helping me with html:
Its amazing how lines of code convert to images on the screen ... I mean it all boils down to semantics doesn't it ... i guess its cuneiform in the true sense ... because writing in this case is symbolised by what we are perceiving optically ... so I might be looking at the screen ... but underlying that could be random (well maybe not that random) lines of letters and numbers and punctuation ... Oh Wow *rolls eyes*!!
Anyway thanks PT ... I want to html everything in sight now!!!
yah good for you and your html.. sigh.. d x