Friday, 16 March 2007

Never Mind the Buzzcocks

K ... so last night I tried to help G with his puter ... this was just before the rains broke so it was terribly humid and we were both starting to sweat buckets ... our foreheads looked like perforated bladders slowly being squeezed.

G makes me sad. He lives in a nice suburb in one of those rambling houses where rooms seem to branch off in all sorts of directions ... he owns the place and has 2 boarders who pay him rent ... all around G's age and all seemingly alone ... He said to me last night "I came to this country when I was 23 and now 40 years later ... look at what I've become ... but anyway I've had a good life ..."

His puter was dead slow and most of the software had exceeded the trial period so he had no access to any fundamental updates ... i was trying to show him how to right click, save as and then scan before opening any file he's downloaded off the net ... damn his system was slow!
I could literally see the despondency creep into his eyes while we sat there waiting for his pc to do something (anything!!)... and for a minute I was staring at my future so I was happy to give up and get out for some fresh air ...
Now on a less grim note ... how much do I love "Never Mind the Buzzcocks" with Simon Amstell as host!! He is sooo not my type ... all tousled curly hair, pasty pommie skin, skinny legs to match tie ... pretty much le geek c'est chic!!! But I would have his babies let me tell you.

He's one of those pvt school toffs .... you know the kind. He is either totally down with new technology ... u know ... has the latest phone ... the latest iBook ... has had every single gen iPod plus shuffle ... owns a wii ... craps on about how he's lost weight playing the wii .... OR ... he has the world's oldest mobile phone ... which is scratched to the max ... never pays for CDs but seems to have an endless collection which he plays on a shitty bookshelf stereo system ... and catches up with current affairs by skimming through newspapers and mags at the local newstand whilst waiting for the bus.

Anyhoo ... for the uninitiated .. Never Mind the Buzzcocks is what I suspect (since its been running longer) Spicks and Specks / Rockwiz is modelled on ... its a music quiz slash panel show with 2 teams captained by 2 local comedians (you'll prolly only know Bill Bailey from Black Books) ... and with the requisite weekly "celebrity" guests thrown in ...

Most of these "celebrity" guests would be unfamiliar to us ... unless of course you're a composite anglophile (you know who you are ... you're the one with the london accent after having been in the UK for 6 mths max) ... but fuck its funny ... why can't our humour still be as caustic and as side-splittingly irreverant as the Brits?? When did we lose our uniquely Aussie SOH ... hello Graham Kennedy??? ... Its like he never happened ... how did we become so hypocritically polite as the Americans??? Tedious Peops!!! Tedious!!!
Anyways ... here are some choice moments from the show. (and don't act like you're not addicted to Youtube!!!)
AMY WINEHOUSE - "i don't know if its true ... but I heard that"

JOHN BARROWMAN - "lets have a gay-off"

JAMELIA - "she really is a slag"

DONNY TOURETTE - "DONNY: "the only reason I came on this show is because they said you fancied me dude ... " SIMON: "No its because we have trouble booking acts"


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