Wednesday, 24 September 2008

So much to catch up on

Ok .. fuck me if my throat hasn't started tickling again!!! But i guess we must soldier on! I'm sure there must be the perfect sporting analogy that I can insert here about life throwing you a curved ball or some such shit ... but we've not been having the best of times .. one illness after another, a death, a difficult birth, dodgy wiring, "dodgy plumbing", inhumane stress levels at work, and in the meantime spring has slowly sprung outside!!

But lets re-cap.

Bistro Vue!!!

I almost don't want to blog about this, because the experience was marred by the fact that I was starting to fall sick at that stage and the really (more I think a bout it) shocking service!!! But it was D's Bday, so the least I can do is see the positives ... which is the FOOD ... most important of all.

Now you can access Bistro Vue from the side entrance (very upstairs downstairs this) but we went in through the front ... where 3 (count them) smartly dressed gentleman opened doors, greeted and walked us through to Bistro Vue, it was a whirlwind of light wool jackets, chiselled jaws and slick hairdos .. get those peasants away from the Vue du Monde demimonde trail!! Quicksmart!

And my first impression of the Bistro Vue space? ... chaos!! At first, I was hoping for cheeky bum slapping "ooh behave" style chaos ... but sadly no ... twas the common "left hand doesn't know what the right hand is doing" garden variety.

Bistro Vue in the main is a small space with an open kitchen and loads of wannabe rockstars masquerading as cooks in the kitchen ... so loud and racous are 2 words that spring to mind ... so unless you're lucky enough to score one of the tables in a covered walkway leading out to the smokeroom ... or a private dining room ... you have to put up with incendiary noise so a bit of shouting to be heard is in order. So in these circumstances, one needs to instruct one's backpacking crew to pay closer attention to what punters are saying and also to slow speech down to compensate for thick european accents!!

(Oh and by the way .. can screwtop bottles of wine come out corked??)

Look I've read that many reviews complimenting the service, but I'm going to be the one person who wears the gold lame jacket to a black tie event.

I know that at the start of the evening we were still waiting on some others to arrive, so after checking with us the once regarding our drinks sitch, they pretty much left us alone ... but once it was painfully obvious that everyone had arrived (erm ... hello .. you did take our jackets!!) trying to get their attention fr the drinks menu was like trying to order ice in the sahara!! Once we did order wine ... it was a trek up the himalayas before the bottle showed up.

Now ordinarily I wouldn't fuss about this but this ain't yer "ye olde bottlo" pub ... so if I am the one that tasted the wine and gave you the go-ahead, you should pour my glass last ... (look scrap that ... I'm being a pickynose biatch!!).

Right ... so far one strike for the wait (and only because there were shitloads of staff all running around achieving nothing ... so no excuses).

Next ... the specials ... hello mamma!!

They run through the specials which we struggle to hear amidst the rock festival in the kitchen and the juh juh inflections of our Portuguese waitress (god please let it be that and not Sharon from Cranbourne desperately trying a french accent ... or you can sooooooo kill me now!).

So after playing Chinese whispers round the table ... it was yet another wait to order ... JR decided on the braised (?) hare which was one of the specials ... well the B that took that order actually looked at us non-plussed and then had to go anc check to see if they had ANY specials for that night and if the Hare was indeed on it ... I think she must have circumvented greater Melbourne before she came back with an answer ... hello rockstar kitchen just next to our table!!! With cut out window to shout into!!!

Anyhoo ... that was big strike number 2 and I was waiting, waiting for strike 3 to come with the food .. but oh the food ... beside the great company that night ... the food made up for it all and then some!!

CC was excited about the snail spring roll he had previously but twas not on the menu and must have been a special (our friendly waitress did not know about this ... which is fine .. but intimated that CC must have been mistaken ... which is WRONG!!) Ordinarily I would plumb for the escargot the minute the ink is dry on the menu but the duck egg was calling out to me:

It came with these little breads sticks wrapped in jamon ... TDF .... not sure what I was really expecting but it was smooth and horribly rich!! I have a penchant for salted duck eggs ... so this can only take second place ... but its a photo finish!!

For Mains (which I think is classified as Entrees on the menu with Apperitifs being the starters ... I'm all gourmand class aren't I??) I had a miso sauced fillet of herb encrusted fish (I forget which now ... could have been gournad).

Sometimes fish simply cooked is just amazing ... I must admit that I would have liked a bit
more of a yeasty punch to the miso .. but I guess this is cuisine informed by the french .. so finesse is the order of the day .. I need to learn to turn my asian pallette off to adjust.

And we ordered some sides, including spinach cooked in cream and the best chips OUT!!

Let me just say that this is some seriously rich food ... so don't load up on the bread or anything carb-related before you come ... we were struggling well and truly before this point .. but as M always say ... there's always room for sweets:

I've just had a mental blank as to which one of the above I had ... we pretty much dipped and dived into each others ... knowing me it would have been the brulee .. it was all a blur at that stage ... coz the wine is don is good!!!

Final Word ... if you've been dying to get to Vue de Monde but are waiting for a bull market or a booking ... then you can either lunch it at cafe vue or dine it at Bistro Vue ... the atmos on the whole is great .. loads of people watching to be had and great food with decent service.

And thank you so much D .. had a ball regardless of circumstance and illness .. hope you got some ack-shion!!

Oh and I almost forgot strike 3 ... the maitre 'd ... considering the gagle of skirtage on staff and Mr D's obvious proclivities (you kow the type .. always with the drag-queen quip and sniffing the youthful tushes at the Market from discreetly lit corners) I would have said the "rose amongst the thorns" but alas for Mr "I'm too sexy for my skirt" ... the reverse is true. One of the lovely waitresses tapped CC on the shoulder to wish him mistakenly Happy Birthday, nice gesture, but totally unexpected so she made CC jump a little ... Mr "I'm too blah blah blah" spotted this and promptly told her off in earshot!!! ... we gave him what for!!! Pooncy little bitch!


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