I guess I should take some comfort in that.
But its a hollow victory, devoid of any solace or celebration.
What has been lost remains lost, with nothing more to be gained.
Death does not benefit your life with experience. It simply is and then passes on with time.
Oh but those sharp burrs of memory that jump up from the corners of your mind, like the worst of all migraines ... I stop breathing, and reach out to clench invisible hands that are no longer there, or stroke warm bodies that once curled in the nooks and crannies of my sleeping form, now lying cold in the earth in our backyard.
So dear readers please forgive me my silence, please let me grieve, I will get better, I will once again engage, its already happening so we will have much to catch up on soon.
Mummy I can't believe you're gone. But I'm glad that you no longer suffer. I just wish I had seen you alive just once more. 3 hours isn't such a long time, but 3 hours late is torture. This one is for you.
- Do not stand at my grave and weep,
- I am not there; I do not sleep.
- I am a thousand winds that blow,
- I am the diamond glints on snow,
- I am the sun on ripened grain,
- I am the gentle autumn rain.
- When you awaken in the morning’s hush
- I am the swift uplifting rush
- Of quiet birds in circling flight.
- I am the soft starlight at night.
- Do not stand at my grave and cry,
- I am not there; I did not die.
- Mary Frye