Its a movie with a heart ... but is unbelievably depressing!! I mean this was 1984 ... who would have thunk it?? Imagine not being safe in your own home ... being dragged off for interogation on the slimmest of rumoured accusations by the party ... being listened to and watched and meticulously recorded ... all whispers and insinuations ... being reduced to the most animalistic of behaviours to protect the things and the people you love ... and the threats and hopes of promotion are so casually implied ... like punctuation ...
And to think I was there for a day visit only a year prior ... aah the 80s ... it wasn't all high flyers, shoulder pads, big hair and High NRG!!!
And Berlin ... wasn't just Nena with her 99 Luft ballons ... in tight stripey leggings and voluminous leather bomber jacket ... there was a serious message behind all that hairspray and gel ... oh and who could forget hair mousse!!
The title got me thinking (and I know this is going to sound and feel so shallow) about how I empathise with the Gerd Wiesler character ... he longs for another life and what starts off as a misguided ideological stance turns into a deep seated longing for human affection and an acceptance of common decency and compassion uncoloured by borderlines or vexillology ... in much the same way (or not) I long for something other than what I have and what I am ... I try my very best to ignore these feelings ... because I hate self-pity ... its tedious and boring ... and ultimately ends in self-hate ... which doesn' really help things much ... but if I had to be honset ... it is a constant struggle for me ... and at times I feel so inadequate because I can't seem to muster the drive or courage to change things for myself ...
Anyhoo ... I told you this damn film is depressing ... but if you haven't seen it .. please do ... because in the end ... compassion (and I mean that in the real sense ... not in the lets tie everything up nicely for middle american hollywood sense) wins the day
(ASIDE: its coming up to that day again ... and its not happy!!!)
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