Tuesday, 4 September 2007

Orang Tuah

Ok … so I was surfing the web as you do when you first log on at work and came across a link to this article off the Yahoo website:
Now the title alone compelled me to read on considering my proclivity for the aged pensioner … hehe … actually tragedies!!! I’m not far behind.
Anyways reality check!!! Who the hell is this article talking about??? You find me a man who embodies all these qualities whatever age, “and I am telling you I’m not Going!!!!!”
Seriously Lisa Jones whoever she or He maybe … this is a pure wankathon!!!
Let me break it down for you honey:
              He's experienced, but not fatherly
Its his way or the highway baby, that’s what experience is. And if he gives you the illusion that he kowtows to you all the time, don’t you worry, at some point it will all come out, otherwise you can count on his mindless indifference till the end of the relationship, because experience teaches you that you get whatever you can get, whether its up to standard or not. As for fatherly … lets see how you go when you’re on a driving holiday next, he’s got the steering wheel and you are navigating and he wants to know left or right because you know you’ve been there heaps of times, then lets just watch his “fatherly” instincts kick in
He's intelligent, yet hip
Honey Intelligence does not come with age. The amount of white hairs on his head does not denote wisdom. He’s either savvy with an acute intellect … or he just has loud opinions that he shouts over others in a conversation!! As for hip, ditto darl!!! You’re either got it, or you don’t!! Hip is an attitude, a personality, not a shop window display that you have thrown over your head and dumped in your living room.
He's successful, but not flashy
OK!!! Success does not come with age. And anyways, what is the measure of success … lets ride the bull on its horns here and assume that given this is a Men’s Health article, success means a mortgage, shiny European car, 4 star holidays and an investment portfolio … in which case … unless he comes from old money … he is going to be flashy to the max!!!! Listen to Beyonce’s Upgrade U and you will have all the basic touchpoints of what it means to have success, the trappings as it were, which I think Lisa may not consider flashy, because of the designer labels attached. I could be wrong!!! But I’ve seen those red Posrches (or worse, wannabe Japanese coupes) with the IMHOT license Plates, and they’re not being driven by your wannabe under 25 yr olds with the KnifePoint hair!!
He's in shape and healthy
OMG You Got To Be Kidding Me!!!! Enuff Said.
He's stylish, but also age-appropriate
Ok baby, this is a truly tricky proposition. As with hipness and intellect, Style is something that is innate … it can be taught to a certain extent, but it does rely on gut instinct to be most effective, which ultimately lets the truly unstylish down!!! Being age appropriate, well that’s a little more interesting. I have to tread these waters very carefully as I am pushing 40 and still pumping in skinny jeans!! But then I’ve always been attracted to fashion that is slightly left off centre. So age will probably not erode that. If you are comfortable enough with your age and are happy to take risks, then more power to you. But if you’re friends deride you for your fashion stance, and you can’t hack it, then maybe you should reign it in a little. But babe, if a basic shirt with a loud print is enough to start the naysayers tattling away, then just give up!!! People see you as old, so back to the Chinos, straight legged jeans and collared shirts in neutral colours. But be careful!!! Don’t let your girlfriends trick you into buying some hideous off the rack 3 season’s old designer rip-off from the tired old suburban shopping centre …. You don’t want to look like your reclaiming your youth and desperately behind times all at once. I’ve seen the over 40s with their paint splattered denim and striped shirt with what looks like a tag down one side panel … DON’T OK DON’T … that look is as old as you are!! And girls don’t make him buy those slim fit single front pants and then let him wear it with his 1990s target shirt with the short collar in Sateen (drip dry) cement grey, or worse … Brown pointy shoes (coz all the hot boys are wearing them when they’re out raging at their nearest Westpoint shopping centre)… when his hair is like mama combed it in 1967. DON’T OK DON’T
Some trends even the young-uns can barely pull off. Bear that in mind.
He acknowledges his age, but doesn't focus on it
Right, that is until you want to cuddle, have mad passionate sex or go out raging!!! Or when you want to do hip groovy things like search out cute little shops and cafés to lounge around in … or hang out where all the cool bohemian types do … then honey, you can’t shut him up about how old he is.
He makes me dream about taking him to bed
Lisa, when or rather IF he has the energy, all he wants is to get his rocks off and go to sleep. Please also refer to above.
He knows what he wants
You know what? He does!!! I agree!!! Because all he wants is to either sit in front of his PC or in front of the TV, preferable in a supine position, and slowly drifting off to sleep, only to wake up and have a drink, pee, shit or something to eat. And that’s it!!!


Post a Comment

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...