dead queer walking

Ok ... I was reading an article in the Good weekend on the tut (as you do!!) ... it was on something to do with Age and wisdom and they interviewed these various luminaries of the geriatric world ... kind of apt at the mo as I'm dealing with parentals and an ageing partner ... well one of these persons of note was Billy Connolly and I am paraphrasing this a little ... coz you know usually these things are full of pappy soundbites that can either go the way of Shirley Maclaine borderline schizo "i see dead people" transcendentals or the video hits stylings of man of the street philosopher alain de boton ... regardless of the fact that he screams old school tie I do prefer the latter ... more descriptive philosophy rather than prescriptive ... for those of you out there who have an arse wipe degree and actually paid attention in first year ... you will know what these two phrases mean ...
 
Anyways I'm waffling ... basically what our ing-toting mate said at the end was how the question is the answer and that once we stop asking the questions, or at least wanting to seek out answers, we're dead ... walking but dead ... and I can hear Dawn French going "how true!!" But really it is true in a sense .... and right now ... I am dead queer walking!

Alamak!!! She step in the ashes ... how can? Like that sure die!!!

Ok ... if you think from the titles of this post that I have suffered and aneurysm and suddenly lost the faculty of language ... don't fret ... its only singlish!!!

I was watching Singapore's 'first ever" horror movie "The Maid" on SBS a couple of nights ago and I was all like:

"Oh No! She stepped in the ashes!"

and

"Oh No! She sat in the front row at the Chinese Opera during Hungry Ghosts month!"

Just shows that you can take the mountain tortoise (sua-ku!) out of Singers, but you can't take the Singers out of the world-weary sophisticate you see here today!!!

When in Rome I do as the Romans do!!

Ok .. I'm determined determined to get my lazy arse off to the Meditarreanean at some point before I shuffle off this extremely tired old mortal coil.

What has prompted this ... well as part of a daily ritual of blog viewing, I always go to The Sartorialist for inspiration not only in all things sartorial (funnily enough) but also to remind myself of places I have yet to visit, people I've yet to fuck (oh poor misguided you!) and lives I have yet to live (insert scary homicidal maniac quip here).

There have been so many pics that I have wanted to post here but always felt a little guilty about doing it .. but his pics make their way into that many blogs ... but anyhoo ... he recently posted this pic of a couple he snapped on the streets of Milan .. and oh.my.god .. can you get any cooler??? Whats up with the Italians in general ... why are they so painfully stylish?? And gorgeous to boot!!!

Veni. Vidi. Vinci.

So much to catch up on

Ok .. fuck me if my throat hasn't started tickling again!!! But i guess we must soldier on! I'm sure there must be the perfect sporting analogy that I can insert here about life throwing you a curved ball or some such shit ... but we've not been having the best of times .. one illness after another, a death, a difficult birth, dodgy wiring, "dodgy plumbing", inhumane stress levels at work, and in the meantime spring has slowly sprung outside!!

But lets re-cap.

Bistro Vue!!!

I almost don't want to blog about this, because the experience was marred by the fact that I was starting to fall sick at that stage and the really (more I think a bout it) shocking service!!! But it was D's Bday, so the least I can do is see the positives ... which is the FOOD ... most important of all.

Now you can access Bistro Vue from the side entrance (very upstairs downstairs this) but we went in through the front ... where 3 (count them) smartly dressed gentleman opened doors, greeted and walked us through to Bistro Vue, it was a whirlwind of light wool jackets, chiselled jaws and slick hairdos .. get those peasants away from the Vue du Monde demimonde trail!! Quicksmart!

And my first impression of the Bistro Vue space? ... chaos!! At first, I was hoping for cheeky bum slapping "ooh behave" style chaos ... but sadly no ... twas the common "left hand doesn't know what the right hand is doing" garden variety.

Bistro Vue in the main is a small space with an open kitchen and loads of wannabe rockstars masquerading as cooks in the kitchen ... so loud and racous are 2 words that spring to mind ... so unless you're lucky enough to score one of the tables in a covered walkway leading out to the smokeroom ... or a private dining room ... you have to put up with incendiary noise so a bit of shouting to be heard is in order. So in these circumstances, one needs to instruct one's backpacking crew to pay closer attention to what punters are saying and also to slow speech down to compensate for thick european accents!!

(Oh and by the way .. can screwtop bottles of wine come out corked??)

Look I've read that many reviews complimenting the service, but I'm going to be the one person who wears the gold lame jacket to a black tie event.

I know that at the start of the evening we were still waiting on some others to arrive, so after checking with us the once regarding our drinks sitch, they pretty much left us alone ... but once it was painfully obvious that everyone had arrived (erm ... hello .. you did take our jackets!!) trying to get their attention fr the drinks menu was like trying to order ice in the sahara!! Once we did order wine ... it was a trek up the himalayas before the bottle showed up.

Now ordinarily I wouldn't fuss about this but this ain't yer "ye olde bottlo" pub ... so if I am the one that tasted the wine and gave you the go-ahead, you should pour my glass last ... (look scrap that ... I'm being a pickynose biatch!!).

Right ... so far one strike for the wait (and only because there were shitloads of staff all running around achieving nothing ... so no excuses).

Next ... the specials ... hello mamma!!

They run through the specials which we struggle to hear amidst the rock festival in the kitchen and the juh juh inflections of our Portuguese waitress (god please let it be that and not Sharon from Cranbourne desperately trying a french accent ... or you can sooooooo kill me now!).

So after playing Chinese whispers round the table ... it was yet another wait to order ... JR decided on the braised (?) hare which was one of the specials ... well the B that took that order actually looked at us non-plussed and then had to go anc check to see if they had ANY specials for that night and if the Hare was indeed on it ... I think she must have circumvented greater Melbourne before she came back with an answer ... hello rockstar kitchen just next to our table!!! With cut out window to shout into!!!

Anyhoo ... that was big strike number 2 and I was waiting, waiting for strike 3 to come with the food .. but oh the food ... beside the great company that night ... the food made up for it all and then some!!

CC was excited about the snail spring roll he had previously but twas not on the menu and must have been a special (our friendly waitress did not know about this ... which is fine .. but intimated that CC must have been mistaken ... which is WRONG!!) Ordinarily I would plumb for the escargot the minute the ink is dry on the menu but the duck egg was calling out to me:

It came with these little breads sticks wrapped in jamon ... TDF .... not sure what I was really expecting but it was smooth and horribly rich!! I have a penchant for salted duck eggs ... so this can only take second place ... but its a photo finish!!

For Mains (which I think is classified as Entrees on the menu with Apperitifs being the starters ... I'm all gourmand class aren't I??) I had a miso sauced fillet of herb encrusted fish (I forget which now ... could have been gournad).

Sometimes fish simply cooked is just amazing ... I must admit that I would have liked a bit
more of a yeasty punch to the miso .. but I guess this is cuisine informed by the french .. so finesse is the order of the day .. I need to learn to turn my asian pallette off to adjust.

And we ordered some sides, including spinach cooked in cream and the best chips OUT!!

Let me just say that this is some seriously rich food ... so don't load up on the bread or anything carb-related before you come ... we were struggling well and truly before this point .. but as M always say ... there's always room for sweets:

I've just had a mental blank as to which one of the above I had ... we pretty much dipped and dived into each others ... knowing me it would have been the brulee .. it was all a blur at that stage ... coz the wine is don is good!!!

Final Word ... if you've been dying to get to Vue de Monde but are waiting for a bull market or a booking ... then you can either lunch it at cafe vue or dine it at Bistro Vue ... the atmos on the whole is great .. loads of people watching to be had and great food with decent service.

And thank you so much D .. had a ball regardless of circumstance and illness .. hope you got some ack-shion!!

Oh and I almost forgot strike 3 ... the maitre 'd ... considering the gagle of skirtage on staff and Mr D's obvious proclivities (you kow the type .. always with the drag-queen quip and sniffing the youthful tushes at the Market from discreetly lit corners) I would have said the "rose amongst the thorns" but alas for Mr "I'm too sexy for my skirt" ... the reverse is true. One of the lovely waitresses tapped CC on the shoulder to wish him mistakenly Happy Birthday, nice gesture, but totally unexpected so she made CC jump a little ... Mr "I'm too blah blah blah" spotted this and promptly told her off in earshot!!! ... we gave him what for!!! Pooncy little bitch!

Messed Up Ugly!!!

Ok ... so I'm sorry about this sudden wave of Ray-dee-oh Sil-ence! Perhaps its early onset of Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, but I've been sick, been down .. life has just generally been Messed Up Ugly!! (phrase coined by IT dude in Lisse!)

The parentals are here so this phase of inactivity may continue for at least the next 2 weeks yet ... things seem to have hit an all time low as far as the neph and the bro are concerned .. and I seemed to be constantly falling short of finances ... so whats new really ...

(i) SYTYCD - Joshua ... well no surprises here and really I would have been happy with any of the final 4. I am doing the ''Fo Real" sign while I type this with one hand ... c'mon say it with me ... that shit is BUCK!!! Oh and guess what I saw on the train across the doorway from me ... yellow lense-less sunnies ... "holytwitch batman" ... four fingers slowly inched towards the shoulder but sensibility prevailed at the last minute ... but seriously dudes ... that shit is BUCK!!!

(ii) Aus Idol .. can the judging be any more boooooorrrrriiinnnnggg! Ok so here are the favs ... Madam Parker (of course .. goes without saying!! ... wasn't there a scary ventriloquist act with a hooked nose and loud laugh called Madam somethingorother .. or did I smoke too much weed in the 70s ... fuck youse!!! I'm not that old ... hehe ... oh I can't believe I wrote fuck youse ... I really don't talk like that at all .. although there was a time when I went around saying "would youse like a bag??" ... at the moment my catchphrase du jour is "I'm with IMAR" .. don't ask!) And a tick for Krisslyn .. of course!!! and also that construction worker with the head scar ... I'd hit that 'fo shure!!!

(iii) Listens - Late of the Pier, Friendly Fires, Sigur Ros, TV on the Radio ... more of these later when I get a chance ... what I would like to say is now much I love Amazon UK ... oline order done on a friday, dispatch email received on saturday .... lovely little package in the mailbox on Thursday!!! Crazy!!! And having a lovely little Yazoo revival as a result ... more of this later too ... with pics

(iv) Reads - just started on Kit Whitfield's Bareback .. curious little number ... billed as a Noir Thriller but is all about lycnathropy ... its a grower!!

(v) Food - had another yummy lunch at Birdman Eating - M had lebanese meatballs and I had Basque chicken with fried polenta ... I will complete that damn bistro vue review soon ... promise!!
Chookers!!

WAR!!

Ok .. this means WAR!!!

And I don't want to hear about your ADD and/or OCD meltdowns ... and I don't care that you have to count the cracks 10 times before stepping over a pavement stone .. keep yo shizz in yo own backyard ... don't be throwing up all over our place!!!

And on a sad note .. we're losing our neighbours!!! The new owners better be nice!! We share a driveway for fuckery's sake!

Ron Mueck ... Fo' Real!!

Ok .. firstly let me say that this blog gets a load f Ron Mueck Google Search hits ... so its with a hummingbird's dickful of excitement that I can announce having seen 3 Ron Mueck's in the wax!!!

We trundled off to Langwarrin .. (somewhere back of butt fuckin beyond) ... the Langwarrin sculpture gallery to be exact ... total wasp country let me tell you ... I stuck out like ... well ... like an asian fairy on a beach in cronulla ... AND I got told off for sneaking a few pix on the old moby .. so I only have photos of the WILD MAN I'm afraid ...

Huge and scarily detailed ... Nanna loved the dimensions ... cheeky nanna!

I especially loved the hair on the legs ... and the welcome mat on the back.

There were other bits and bobs in the other rooms .. but nothing as interesting .. they did have this gentleman playing guitar and humming in the corner in another section of the gallery ... it was very pleasant .. but I somehow feel that the punters would have preferred some piped in Buble or Shannon hole ... or summat like that .. yeah that kinda crowd.

We had a bit of a walk around the grounds and took more happy snaps .. until the weather turned ...

Some interesting pieces ... if you're into that sort of thing ...

We were both taken by these ... and its always great to catch that short sunburst of the wattle in early spring:

So its a little peek-a-boo from us until the next artventure (ooh . too much??).

Pro-choice or Pro-Life

Ok .... just chiming in with today's bit of political commentary.

Are you pro-choice or pro-life ... watch this video and decide ... Palin! You dig??



PS Still trying to shake this cold ... will update soon ... promise!!